Adventures in Feldspar
Tortenchy – “Welcome to magick shop. I haven’t seen any of you before. Can any of you even comprehend how to use magick? You look like a bunch of lunkheads.”
“Menchy? Yeah that good for nothing is my brother. He was dropped on his head as a child, several times. I don’t want to talk about him he gets my undies in a bundle.”
To spellcasters: “Hmm you do seem to have some power don’t you. One might even call you a power bottom. I can feel the power radiating off of you. Perhaps you would be able to handle some of what I have to offer. Are you… interested in what I’ve got?”
“None of the stuff in the shop is for sale, it’s all decoration. Too many idiots come in here and try to steal my wares so this entire room is an illusion, we’re really just standing in an empty room.” – Someone might be able to tell that he’s lying if they are perceptive, the stuff in the room is real, but if you try to take any of it there are wards and you can’t seem to grasp it.
“I have items of great power for sale… I’d be willing to part with up to 2 items. What is it that you are looking for?” – Use item list based on what they want.
If they try to fight summon a fire elemental to chase them off. The elemental ends up burning down the store and Tortenchy vanishes.